source: akoray
I’m still thinking about contentment a lot these days in regards to how I feel about my home. My husband is knocking out projects both inside and out as we continue the baby countdown, and it’s been fun to have some things finished and looking great.
What I’ve realized recently is that when discontentment does creep in, it is almost always in regards to seeing my home through someone else’s eyes. It happens when I wonder what my mom thinks about the built-in toy shelf in our kitchen that desperately needs a new coat of paint or what the neighbors might think of the picnic table in our kitchen or how people view our custom art and fixtures.
And to be clear, I really don’t know what they think. They may not have noticed, or even if they did, they might not care at all!
I think it’s important to look at our homes through other people’s eyes from a hospitality perspective. What can we do to make people more comfortable in our homes, to make sure they feel welcome?
But when we start to judge our homes based on how other people might view our decorating choices or our unfinished projects, or when we start to compare our homes to other people’s homes, that’s when we grow discontented.
Is there an area in your home that you love — or at least tolerate — until you start to view it through other people’s eyes? Are you trying to hold yourself up to other people’s standards and allowing discontentment to fester when you don’t measure up?
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What a great point! The timing of this post is excellent for me as my in-laws arrive tomorrow. Having company coming always makes me notice all the unfinished projects and other imperfections of my house but I’d never realized exactly how/why I did that. Your post explained it perfectly and now I have the goal to see our home through their eyes in terms of hospitality like you said. Thanks!!
I love my bookshelves… they’re mostly tidy, and definitely clean, but certainly well loved and the books are well read. One friend keeps suggesting ways I can cover them because they look so messy to her, (too many colours and shapes) but to me they’re such a part of who we are. My family loves stories, adventures, words, language, and reading to each other. I would be so sad if we had to cover that up…
Toys in the baskets in our living room. They’re awesome woven, wooden baskets that I wanted to use for ….nothing…lol. Just decoration…that didn’t last with three little girls. However, when I have people who have children…the baskets full of toys have made it easier for both mom and kid to feel comfortable, rather than….”don’t touch anything!”
I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS holding myself up to other people’s standards! And, sadly, discontentment has become my middle name. We rent and so many items needing attention don’t get it, plus 5 of in 1100 sq ft keeps things “cozy”. There is an area in my living room that I love to look at when it is picked up…the bookcases! But, then I let that feeling of discontent wash over me again! Agh! What a struggle!
And, yet, I have received a few comments that my home is so warm and welcoming! Thank you for reminding me to focus on the hospitality!
I needed to read this. We’re in a weird state between trying to decide if we want to buy a new house, buy the house we’re renting and renovate, or just sit tight. I look at all the things that need to be fixed here, look at the beauty of some of the houses for sale in my area, and … well, contentment is not what I’m feeling. I need to keep reminding myself how lucky I am for what I have.
I totally agree with this post. I’m happy and comfortable living here and although I want to add more color and personality to the home, I know we don’t have the means for major remodels. Although I’m mostly content I totally freak out when people are coming over–I’m so so sure they are judging us. It honestly makes me not want to have others over at all, except for real kindred spirits and nice, down-to-earth people.
we just found out that we get to stay in our rental for probably another year or more. HUGE relief and made me realize how much I really love this beat up old house
I cannot live up to anyones standards. I am constantly judged and told what others think of my home. Recently my house has become a cluttered mess and it stresses me to have people stop by or to even look at the house.
I’m very much on the same page - so many plans, walls to paint, pictures to frame, then the mother-in-law stops by and I feel so behind. And the shelves! They always look so messy until I take everything off every six months, dust off my big art books, rearrange the photos, find a little shell to add or something, and it lifts the whole room. Mess becomes an arrangement! But I’m saving to get some bookcases with glass doors so it feels a little neater without being completely covered. Less dusting has to be good
Thank you so much for the reminder of what I love…